Thursday, March 30, 2006

Inaugural Address


Ladies, Gentlemen, and Slack Jawed Troglodytes:

Welcome to the cybernetic home of "Release The Hounds", an ultimate frisbee team that plays in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Ultimate Frisbee, also known as Flatball, is a sport characterized by tradition and excellence. Played by billions the world over, its origins are enshrined at Yale University's campus in the 19th century. Hungry (and perhaps intoxicated) college students realized that pie plates from the nearby Frisbie Pie Company could be thrown to one another while passing the time. After several tries the students realized it was easier to eat the pies first. Hilarity ensued.

Many a year later, a little thing called "history" was made. In the year 2 double ought 5, several pie-and-chicken-wing-eating men and women would form what is now the greatest pie-plate throwing team of all time: Release The Hounds.

Some people have never heard of Ultimate Frisbee. Others say that Flatball doesn't make any sense. These same people claim to know the difference between Butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. They are not to be trusted.

In a balancing act worthy of jugglers and Supreme Court judges, Flatball combines the grace of football, the aerodynamics of aeroplanes, and the complicated rulebook of baseball to bring you a sport worthy of kings and tyrants.

Our personal goals are simple. Take over the world, one disc at a time.

Work. Sleep. Social Life. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in Ultimate Frisbee.
Consider yourself warned.

The Hounds have been released.
 

(Don't worry, her idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation, hurmorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing)